What a difference a day makes...

I really like oldies. I also really like the fact that my sophomore year of college is OVER. Truth be told, I completely overextended myself in every direction. I only really came to this realization around finals week, when I had 6 finals that I was honestly scared to death about. 6 FINALS?!?!? is that even legal?? This is the first time in a while that I can remember having any amount of time to think clearly, evaluate the last few months, and try to make some sense of it all. It wasnt all bad...not nearly. In fact, some of the most amazing experiences of my life happened in the last few months, but i guess with great happiness comes great sorrow. For example... I am so happy about being in a relationship, I am thrilled that i get to go back to africa in a week, and I am overjoyed about my sister graduating and my brother's recent marriage. On the flip side, Im tired...im not happy with my grades...im afraid that this summer will go by and Ill be broke, burned out, and even more confused about what i want to do with my life. Charlotte tells me that I need to focus on me, but who wants to do that? I guess ive spent the last year so focused on making everyone else happy, so focused on being the problem solver, that mine got out of hand and no one could help me. Not because no one was there trying to help, but that im too stubborn to take good advice most of the time. As im sitting here typing this, i cant help but think that there are better uses of my time. A blob of supposed efficiency, yep, thats me in a nutshell. Sure i can stay up until 4 every night doing God knows what...laundry, emailing, (homework), ASAP, AIESEC, AID, ASU, haha...wow...some day ill move on to the B's, then Ill really be in trouble. But the next day im only half human, only half real, and that sucks. The funny thing is, i met some really awesome people this semester, and i have no idea why. Maybe they just hang out with me because of this aura that i give off of having a higher purpose...but i cant even describe how odd that is when deep down sometimes all i really want/need is a good book...some junk tv...a tub of ice cream...some incense maybe....and a bubble bath. Im normal, and i finally get that. BLAAHHH. Apparently normal people require sleep. *rubs eyes*... tomorrow, i begin anew.